Not Everybody Gets Your Iron

Who's really in your ear right now?

In this episode, we're sitting in Proverbs 27:17, "iron sharpens iron," and getting honest about what that actually requires. Because sharpening isn't soft. It involves friction, heat, and resistance. And the people in your life are either producing that in you or they're slowly dulling you. There is no neutral.

We're also camped out in Proverbs 4:23, "above all else, guard your heart," and talking about why who you give access to is one of the most consequential decisions you will make. Not because you're better than anybody. Because what God is building in you is worth protecting.

This one isn't about cutting people off. It's about getting honest about who has your iron.

A masterpiece doesn't hang just anywhere.

Girl, Pick Up is a podcast by EmpowerHER Spirit, created for the woman who's ready to answer the call — on faith, purpose, and the real conversations nobody else is having.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Hey girl. Hey girl. Okay, I have something to ask, and I need you to actually think about it before you answer. Who are you letting speak into your life right now? Like who has a real seat at your table? Who's in your ear consistently? Or who do you go to when something happens? Because I've been sitting with something and I feel like somebody needs to hear this today. Girl, pick up. Hey girl. Hey girl, what's up? Hey girl. Hey girl, what's up? Oh, that's the word. Okay, if you've been here since the beginning, you might remember episode two, She's Not Doing Enough. And if you haven't heard it, go back and listen. We sat in Ephesians 2 and 10 and talked about who God says you are, that you're his masterpiece, chosen before the world existed, and you were created on purpose with a purpose. And I meant every word of that. But here's where I want to go today. If you are a masterpiece, then you don't just let anybody touch you. You don't take something priceless and irreplaceable and leave it out for just anybody to handle. You protect it and you're intentional about who gets near it. So today's question is: are you being intentional about who has access to what God is building in you? There's a verse that I keep coming back to, and it's Proverbs 27 and 17. It says, As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Now I want you to actually sit with that image for a second because I think we read right past it. Think about what it takes to actually sharpen iron. You're not sitting it next to something soft and hoping for the best. You're striking metal against metal. There's friction involved, heat, and resistance. It's loud and it's uncomfortable and it does not feel good while it's happening. But something comes out on the other side that could not have been produced any other way. Something that's sharper, more effective, and something that can actually do what it was made to do. And that is what the right people in your life are supposed to produce in you. Not just comfort, agreement, and you don't want anyone around you who just makes you feel good about where you already are. The right people challenge you. They speak truth even when it's hard to hear. They pray with you, they push you, and you come out of time with them more like who God called you to be. But here's the flip side of this verse that we don't talk about enough. Iron that never gets sharpened doesn't just stay the same, but it gets dull. It loses its edge over time, it becomes less effective, and eventually it can't do what it was made to do. And I think that you need to hear that because a lot of us have been sitting in relationships where we're slowly getting dulled and we haven't even realized it yet. The people around you are either sharpening you or they're dulling you. There is no neutral. That might sound like a strong statement, but just think about it. Every relationship you're in is either moving you toward who God is calling you to be or it's pulling you into another direction. Nobody in your life is just sitting there with zero influence. So the real question isn't just who's in your life, it's what are they doing to you. So here's what I want to get really honest with you about. Because I think a lot of us have people in our lives who we genuinely love, but if we're being real, they're not sharpening us. They might be dulling us, and we just haven't wanted to say it out loud yet. And sometimes it's not even the relationship that is bad. Sometimes it's just that relationships have run their season. You've grown, you've changed, you're not the same person you were when that friendship started. And what used to feel like a connection, it just feels now like you're going through the motions. And I think that's worth paying attention to because sometimes it could be harder than that. Like sometimes it's the friend who always has something negative to say, and when you hang up the phone, you feel heavy every single time. And you might not realize it at first, but then you start noticing that you dread the call before it even starts, or after you hang up, you feel worse, not better, and that her ceiling has quietly started to feel like your ceiling too. Or maybe it's a relationship where you keep compromising just a little bit, just this once, until a little and once becomes your new normal. And you look up one day and realize you are somewhere that you never intended to be. Here's what I've learned about how this happens: it's almost never one big, huge, dramatic moment. It's usually slow, quiet, and it's the energy that you absorb from people that you're around the most until one day you don't even recognize that it's not your energy anymore. You wake up wondering why your faith feels distance, your peace just keeps slipping away, or you keep making the same decisions. And sometimes the answer is just look at who's been around you the most, who is the closest to you? And that's not judgment, that's just how influence works. We're all being shaped by the people who we do life with. The question is whether or not we're paying attention to it. Now, I want to bring in a second scripture because I think that it takes everything that we talked about and it makes it just a little bit more clearer. So Proverbs 4 and 23 says, Above all else, guard your heart for everything that you do flows from it. Above all else, not somewhere on your list or when you get around to it, but literally above all else. And then it tells us why. Because everything you do flows from it, your decisions flow from it, your faith flows from it, your peace flows from it, the way you parent, the way you lead, the way you love, all of it flows from the condition of your heart. So if the heart is the source of everything, then who you give access to your heart is one of the most consequential decisions of your life. And I really want to be clear about something here because I know how this can sound. It's not about being exclusive, and it's not about only spending time with people who think like you or believe what you believe or are at the same place in their faith. Jesus spent time with everybody. He sat with people that the religious crowd refused to acknowledge, but Jesus also knew who he was. He was secure enough in his identity that being around people in hard places did not pull him off course. He actually influenced them, they didn't influence him. And that's the real question for each of us. In the relationships I'm in right now, am I the one doing the sharpening or am I the one getting doled? Because guarding your heart is not about building walls and shutting people out, it's about being wise enough to know who you can afford to be close to in this season that you're in right now. Think about it like this: a masterpiece doesn't just hang anywhere. You don't take something priceless and put it in a room where it's going to be damaged or devalued. You put it somewhere that is going to be protected, appreciated, and treated with the care that it deserves. And that's you, girl. The people you give real access to, your thoughts, your dreams, your fears, your calling, they should be people who treat what God is building in you like it's worth something. Because it is. And walking in that truth is not arrogance, it's not selfishness, it's actually obedience to what God said. Above all else, guard your heart. So here's what I want you to do with this before we hang up. This week, I want you to actually think about your circle, not to judge anybody or start cutting people off, but just to get honest. Who in your life is sharpening you? Who are you walking away from, feeling more like yourself, more grounded, or more connected to God? Hold those people close, tell them what they mean to you, and make sure that you're being that for somebody too. Because iron sharpens iron and that goes both ways. You need to be on somebody's list, girl. And then wherever you feel that something is off, wherever there's a relationship that's keeping you dull, take it to God. Ask him what he's calling you to do, not what's comfortable, but what is he actually saying for you to do? Because sometimes the answer is just to create a boundary, or sometimes it's a conversation that needs to happen, or it's just the awareness to stop letting certain things have more access to you than they deserve. Whatever it is, you don't got to figure it all out today. Just start by being honest and trust that God will lead you from there. But before I let you go, you know I want to pray over you. Father, I thank you for the woman on the other end of this. I thank you that she is not an accident, that what you're building in her is real and it is worth protecting, and that the right people placed by you will sharpen her and help her become everything you created her to be. God, give her the wisdom to know who to hold close and the courage to guard what you've placed inside her. Let her walk away from this episode, knowing that her heart is worth protecting, and that being intentional about who she lets in is not selfish, but it's obedience. In Jesus' name. Amen. Girlie, before I let you go, subscribe so you don't miss the next episode. Share this with your friend who needs to hear this today, and then come find us on Instagram at empowerher.spirit. And if you've been looking for the right room, our next Bible study group is going to start July 1st. That is a Tuesday, 7 p.m. The link is going to be in the show notes. Go be intentional about who you hand your iron to this week. I'll talk to you next week. Girl, pick up.